The Advocate

"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, that He may be with you forever." John 14:16 (NIV)

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For years I knew You only as a doctrine.

A chapter in a systematic theology book. A dove at a baptism. A wind that came once, loudly, and then, I assumed, grew quiet.

I did not know You as a Person.

I did not know You could be grieved. Or trusted. Or missed.

You, I never knew.

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But You knew me.

You were the One holding my hand through nights I called coincidence. The nudge I dismissed as intuition. The ache in prayer I did not know was Your own groaning, deeper than my words.

I called it discipline when it was You.

I called it conscience when it was You.

I called it luck when it was You, all along, refusing to leave.

Even my searching was Your doing. You were never the God I found. You were the God who first found me, and waited, patiently, for me to notice.

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So let me start again, You and I.

Not with a definition this time. With a confession.

I did not know You.

But I want to.

You who have been near me since before I had words for nearness, teach me to call You Friend.

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A Prayer of Thanksgiving

Thank You, Holy Spirit, for finding me before I ever looked for You.

Thank You for the patience of Your pursuit.

Teach me today to call You Friend, and mean it. Amen.

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