The Restoring

"Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me." Psalm 51:11 (NIV)

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I understood David's prayer only after my own failure taught me to pray it.

I feared, after the worst of what I had done, that Your presence was a reward I had finally spent.

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But this is a prayer, not a warning.

David did not pray it because You had already left. He prayed it because he knew what it would mean if You did, and he could not bear the thought.

That fear itself was proof You had not gone.

You do not flee from failure the way I assumed. You stay close enough to be prayed to, even in the wreckage.

I called my desperation a sign of distance.

It was You, still near enough to be begged for.

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Forgive me for assuming my worst moment was the moment You would finally leave.

You were never that far.

You were near enough to hear the prayer that You would not go.

Restoring Spirit, stay close even now, especially now.

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A Prayer of Thanksgiving

Thank You, Holy Spirit, for staying near enough to be prayed to in my worst moments.

Thank You for not leaving when I feared I had driven You away.

Restore in me the joy I let my failure steal. Amen.

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